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4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.5. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’sunderwear when he’s on the toilet.6. Sticking my nose into someone’scrotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.7. I don’t need to suddenly standstraight up when I’m under the coffee table.8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur beforeentering the house - not after.9. I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one. They were firm, strong, and his touch was electric.I wanted to feel them there and in other places.“Layla?”I realized he was asking if I was high enough to enter the house.“Oh, thanks, this is high enough.” I all but whispered the words. As I gained my balance and his hands slipped away, they brushed against my ass and my breath shot up into my nose in one sharp intake.“Layla, are you ok?”“Yes,” I answered weakly. “I’m almost in.”I slipped into the kitchen, landed on the counter, and hopped off. Grabbing his keys, I jiggled them in my hands with a nervous smile.Outside, Jacob smiled and gave me a thumbs up, gesturing that I should meet him at the front door.Walking through his house, I mused at how different from mine it was inside. Architecturally, it was the same as my house. Our estate was filled with identical houses. Yet, the inside of his was so different from ours.Pictures of his wife and kids scattered the walls. The kids were the same age as me, but unlike me who couldn’t.
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