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That feeling nearly took my breath away. I had no idea what it was or what had caused it, but I knew that it was different than anything I had ever experienced, and that it certainly was a pleasant feeling. When we released each other from our clutches, the feeling dissipated immediately, and I did not feel that again until our wedding night.I was a virgin on our wedding night, and Scott was very considerate of that. (I don't know if he was a virgin also; I have never asked him and he has never said.) He was gentle and patient and tried hard not to cause me too much pain, but even with his tenderness, his first entry into me hurt more than anything I can ever explain. I can not believe that all women undergo such trauma in the course of their first sexual experience; were that the case, I am confident the world's population would be much less than it is today. Of course, with the pain came the overnight discomfort, the bleeding on the sheets, and my embarrassment in the morning when. Idly thinking about betrayal, I stared at the slowly turning white cylinder, flipping the lid of my Zippo with the 8th Army insignia on it. Open, closed, open, closed, like a mantra: ‘betrayal, betrayal!’ A voice, low, sultry, breathed in my ear, ‘you gonna smoke that thing, or play with it all day.’ Snapping out of my reverie, I saw the bikini girl sitting on the next stool, cigarette poised in her slim hand, waiting for a light. With a sudden show of complete calm, I dropped my Zippo on the floor, putting a nasty dent in the tip right corner, the first dent in the previously pristine lighter. ‘Sorry about that, I was thinking.’ Carefully, I opened the lid and flipped the thumb-wheel and … nothing. Quickly I flipped it again, and again, and … still nothing. I looked up to see the bartender lighting her cigarette with a book of bar matches. Giving me a smile to die for, she said, ‘You’re smooth, I’ll give you that. Anyone else would have just lit my cigarette, but you actually.
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