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I was back on drugs. Not addicted, not shooting smack or anything as bad as that, not more than what is now termed recreational use, and it was only occasional. The trouble was, Steve would go through cycles of depression, not surprisingly, today she would be called bi-polar, and when she was down, what she needed was to get right out of it, and spent a night in the rush of speed or the wildness of acid, this wold generally send her back on the upswing again. Apart from that, if sleep was unobtainable, or just because they made us feel soft and cuddly, and Steve increasingly liked me that way, there were downers.All of these were available if you knew the right people, and could trade the goods, which she certainly could. Sometimes, with the right suppliers - and I was given my own veto - I was used as currency, and had interesting hours in other cells than our own when used as payment in kind. It all helped the deception, and as I made two very good friends that way due to Steve's. Coming the other way was my old boyfriend - the basketball player - who I'd broken up from on April 7th. And despite all that had happened, all that I'd said to him on that night, my heart started pounding with excitement as soon as I saw him.I didn't realise until then that something so seemingly simple as sex could be so complicated. I think if I hadn't been so frustrated with Ed, if I hadn't wanted sex so much with Ed, then I could have walked past my old boyfriend with my nose in the air! But I guess I wanted to prove something to Ed, or was it simply that I wanted sex? I'm ashamed to say it was probably the latter. I'd gone out last night looking for romance, and here I was about to take my knickers off for a man who I'd convinced myself I hated. A man who I'd told myself in April that I was never going to speak to again.It certainly didn't take long for us to get our polite conversation over with, climb over the low wall that separated us from the darkness and start undressing.
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