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August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it, as a mirror while he picked his nose.10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed; 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?And last, but not least:16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then. "Wow!" she exclaimed, stepping right up behind me. "You have a greatbutt, and they look amazing on you!" I bet you say that to all the....all the....um.....really confusedguys," I joked, and we both laughed, breaking the tension."No, seriously, You have a great shape already, and they really work onyou," she told me, but she didn't have to. My mind was made up.I bought the two smaller sized pairs. But just before I left the shop, Isaw another item in my fantasy list: it was the rack of girly belts. Ohwow, so many from black rock n roll style with metal studs to the cutestpink faux leather with rhinestone hearts all around. I went back to thecounter with that one, and the shop girl gave me a sly, 'in on it' grinand whispered, "Have fun."My heart was pounding all the way back to my apartment, eager to stripoff these horrible male office clothes and dress for Daddy, wanting puton a real show for him, still on his trip overseas.I had a few hours until my roomie would be home, so I.
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