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I would find one or two pics of a beautiful cock and I would jack-off imagining myself sucking it until it came. I progessed to the gay and bisexual sites where I could check out the pics and movies of men sucking each others rock-hard cocks and pounding each others asses. Then the gay/bisexual chat rooms. I started cybering with other men, jacking off with one hand and typing with the other. This was extremely difficult to do at home and I had to choose my moments wisely. How I never got caught is beyond me. These thoughts and fantasies came and went over the years but each time they returned, the feelings were more intense and urgent. It was as if I sensed that time was passing by and action was in order. I started checking out the "man looking for man" internet search sites, looking for guys with similar thoughts in my locale. I would reply to some of the postings and strike up e-mail conversations with some of the "MWM bicurious" guys. We would swap pics and talk about hooking up. He went to his room. I don’t know what to do. I lingered there for a moment and finally entered his room.He was writing his personal diary. I just stood there at the entrance, watching down. Chitra, what happened need any help? He sounded concerned and came towards me but I could observe the distance at which he stopped. Yes, need a lot of help. To cut off this distance to minimum-I thought. My mind was urging me constantly-do something Chitra. The thought of kissing him caused palpitations in me. No, I can’t do this but I don’t want to waste even a moment with this lad.I held his hand and placed it on my waist with my eyes closed. I could feel him coming towards me and his breath becoming mine. I heard the most lovable pronunciation of my name in the world. It was Bhanu’s. I opened my eyes, finding him close to my face at the same distance which I’ve dreamt of all these nights. Yeah, it is done-my heart told but not yet-resounded my boiling body.I love you Chitra” That’s it. I.
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