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I took a valium and closed my eyes trying to clear my mind of its thoughts. I was thinking a little bit of what I heard at group and some about the things Elizabeth had said to me as well. I took a deep breath thinking about next week and then remembered my doctor appointment, why did they need to see me? All I could do is wonder as I wouldnt know anything until I was there. . . . The nurse walked me from the waiting room down the hall and took me into an exam room. She handed me a paper hospital gown and asked me to remove all of my clothing and to put the gown on. She stepped out of the room and I did as I was asked. She returned quickly and instructed me to get up on the exam table. As I did I heard her making a lot of noise at one end of the table and saw her adjust the stirrups. She told me to lay back and to place each foot into a stirrup so I did so. I then felt her put a strap around each ankle securing my feet into the stirrups and then I felt her push them wider opening my. Truth was, I wasn't really boyfriendmaterial. At 5'6" I was three and a half inches under the nationalaverage height for men, more than one standard deviation from the norm(I'd looked it up), and I was wafer thin, like those kids who had sandkicked in their face in the old Charles Atlas comic book ads (did Imention some of us were 'Rocky Horror' tragics?). I wasn't just thin, Iwas really thin. I had a metabolism that worked five times harder thaneveryone else's. It was great for being able to pull all-nighters, butnot much good for developing a manly physique. Thin arms, small hands andfeet, thin torso. On top of everything else I had lousy eyesight. Icouldn't see more than about five feet in front of me without glasses.Plus there was the fact I looked about ten years younger than my realage. It might have been due to excellent skin ? unlike other kids I neverhad any meaningful acne ? or it might have been my size. Whatever it was,I got carded absolutely everywhere. Everywhere. And.
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