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I don’t think meds are the answer. It’s the worst at night. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus. Sleeping pills don’t help, because I need at least ten hours to burn them out of my system. Even with a shit-ton of caffeine in the morning, I’m still groggy until about ten hours. Since I need that much time and I have to get up at 6:15 to be to work on time, that would mean taking them at no later than 8:15, which would seriously cut into the very, very small amount of time I get to spend with my wife. And believe me, that ain’t happening. Hopefully by getting this all out on ‘paper,’ it’ll help the process. I can’t imagine it can hurt. Just know that everything. ”“Head, zipper,” Wade shook his head and we dispersed to our spots.“Power left!” Wade yelled out.I swapped to the weak side and lined up. Riverton was still in double tight formation.“Down! Set!Sure enough, the quarterback faked a handoff to the fullback, took several steps to drop back and looked for a short dumpoff. The tight end across from me feigned a light block on me and cut for the sideline. I stayed with him, with an eye in the backfield since I had help from the corner.The quarterback dumped it off and Wade nearly got his hands on it as he waited for it to come to the fullback, and it did. The ball bounced harmlessly off his back’s thigh pad and hit the ground.It was already fourth down. Our sideline was already getting loud and we could just sense where this was headed. These guys were not very good. The line was sub-par and there was no creativity, so far, in this offense.The punter trotted out and we lined up in punt return formation. It was one of those rare occasions I.
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