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He’ll counsel you to stop, and give you some fasting and prayer rules designed to help you control your urges.”“Do they work?”“Not for me,” I replied. “This is a weakness which I will only overcome by marriage. I’ve tried, and I’m not justifying or excusing myself, but I don’t have the willpower to abstain completely.”“And he will let me receive the Eucharist?”“It’ll be up to you. When I talked to my mom about it, back when the whole thing with Jocelyn was going on, she pointed out that, in the end, everything comes down to whether or not you love God. Again, that’s not license to sin, but God knows our weaknesses and loves us despite them. If we return that love, he’s accepting and forgiving. I’m not sure how to explain it, other than to say that I love God. I’m sure you do as well.”“Yes, of course. But what do I say?”“Just that you’ve sinned by having sex. He won’t ask for names or details, but he will talk to you about the church’s teachings.”“I don’t know.”“Tasha, as right as. He didn't understand that by asking me something he was suggesting things to me. Of course I wasn't really hypnotized, but that's besides the point.My dad said, well, what about this and what about that, asking me about different things? He asked about me wanting him to suck my breasts, to finger me, or what if he wanted to make love to me, to get me to suck his penis, to let him fuck my bum, to masturbate while he watched, to bring other girls home to share with him, if I wanted to be his girlfriend even.I think that he was just curious what I wanted him to suggest when I said something "really naughty." To each of his questions I said that I didn't know, that I wanted him to suggest something, to suggest the naughtiest, nastiest thing he really wanted, and that if he wanted to do each of those things then I wanted to do them too..In my zombie voice I told him something I guess I could never have told him in a million years. "Mom put me on Norplant when I turned fifteen, so even if.
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