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. ".... and you've got great boobs too, Mum!" Now, why the FUCK I didn't stop myself saying this at that point, I will never know - but I did. I can only guess that it was that which sparked the events of that night which followed...About 10.30-11pm, the humidity was climbing again and I said I was going to have a shower before trying to get to bed. After that, I laid on my bed in just my shower robe with the door on the jar as usual, watching a bit of late night telly. My Mum came upstairs soon after and I heard her go into the bathroom and the shower start running. But.... for the first time I could remember, I didn't hear the door get closed or the draw bolt lock... ???? Strange, I thought. I don't know what spurred me to do it, but after a minute or so, I got off the bed and silently crept onto the landing. The bathroom door was half-open and I could clearly see the shower cubicle. There was my Mum, sensually showering herself with a large bath sponge and loads of soapy foam all. The weak or the ignorant looked to those others for their survival, often at the cost of something more precious; their dignity.I was one of the more fortunate and I had learned to take advantage when it was to my benefit. Compassion was not a survival emotion in prison and my compassion had been suppressed for a long time. My work at the clinic was slowly reviving that forgotten emotion and I was trying very hard to remember. But, this is how my mind was functioning now and would dictate my actions toward Nan as this first meeting progressed. I know that sounds cold and distant, but my reality for five years, six months and three days was an eight by twelve foot cell. My return to civilized behavior was not that easily accomplished for someone who lived alone the last year. And during that time, my only contact with society was via a clinic that treated those whose own reality was filled with pain and sadness.As I watched Nan take the pizza and reach into her purse to pay the boy I.
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