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But those images were burned into my brain and the hurt I had suffered while she caused our marriage to disintegrate meant that for a long time I couldn't face her. Her betrayal was certainly the abandonment I had subconsciously feared all these years since she threw me over for what I considered a frivolous quest in high school.During the time of Sarah's destructive behavior I became a hard man, or I should say returned to being a hard man. My marriage to Sarah and the raising of our children had mellowed me and taken the edge off, but the hardness I had picked up in the Marines always lurked under the surface. I had learned to kill and had become a master at it from long and short range. As I left the Corps a shrink told me that my problem wasn't that I enjoyed killing and felt no remorse, but the fact I felt nothing at all. The old Marine Corps saying that "the only thing I feel when I kill is recoil" pretty much summed it up. It was my job and I did it well.So I arranged to have. “Yes!”“Well, Mom and Dad would rent the apartment for us, and pay for it, along with any utilities, plus give us some money towards food and gasoline. We’d have the money you currently spend on your dorm, too. And I’d work during the Summers.”“What about my Summer job in West Monroe?”“You could find one in Circleville, or talk to Mr. Sokolov about working at his store full time.”“That won’t work, because it would put either Nancy or Paula out of their full-time jobs during the Summer, and I wouldn’t do that.”“That makes sense. There are other businessmen at church. Heck, you might be able to even work in the mailroom at Dad’s bank or something like that. They take college students.”“What about my study group? I wouldn’t be home until nearly midnight, and I’d have to drive back for early morning classes. And I would have to spend lots of time on campus, including Sunday nights for our study group.”“I’d still see you more than I do now, and besides, you told me medical school will be.
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