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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.' 'Thank God, ' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful, ' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't. Ab main aur maar nahi khaunga, yaa toh muhje randi ke pass jaane do ya fir aap meri help karo.Maa: (gusse se) Ye kya bakwaas kar raha hai? Hadd mein reh!Main: Mujhe randi ke pass jaane se rokna hai toh meri help karo. Warna soch lo kitni badnami hogi jab pata chalege tumhara beta kya kar raha hai.Maa: (dukhi ho kar) Beta, Aisa kyun kar raha hai? Maine mana kiya hai na, aise kaam nahi karne. Theek hai main teri help karungi. Per kisi ko bhanak bhi nahi lagni chahiye is baat ki. Bata kya help chahiye?Main: Meri chaddi utaro.Maa darte hue meri chaddi utar deti hain. Main maa ka sar pakad ke apne laude ke pass lata hun.Main: Ab is muh mein lo aur chaato.Maa ke muh mein lete hi and main zor zor se fuck karnelaga. 5 minutes ke andar hi unka muh mere cum se bhar gaya. Woh bhaag kar bathroom gayi aur ulti kardi.Main: Sorry maa, par ab main relaxed feel kar raha hu.Maa: Ab so jao aur is baare mein kabhi baat nahi karenge.Main: Theek hai.Agle din subah, papa roz ki tarah 7 baje office nikal.
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