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"Hey Tim, it's Nick. You upstairs?"Still no answer, which was weird. Tim knew I was coming over, and since the house wasn't locked he had to be home...somewhere. He had to be up in his room. It was the only thing that made any sense. I crossed the living room and headed for the stairs, figuring he was up in his room. Their house was pretty plush, so the thick carpet on the steps prevented any creaking or other noise as I climbed them. I reached the top of the steps and walked down the hall towards Tim's bedroom, thinking nothing was out of the ordinary. Tim tended to be distracted all the time, one of those things that led to our planned study session this afternoon.Not suspecting anything I was about to say hello when I walked into his room and saw him. He was sitting as his computer and was rubbing his crotch through his shorts while staring intently at the porn website. His shorts were tented up by his obvious arousal, his hard-on stretching the fabric. Tim pumped his shaft through. "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot."OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.AND"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokesThese are compliments of DennisThe North Dakota Department of Labor claimed a small Bismarck farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.Department of Labor employee: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.Farmer: Well, there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.Then there's the mentally challenged worker. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.NCDL employee: That's the guy I want to talk to ... the mentally challenged one.Farmer: That would be me.A foursome of.
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