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My mind automatically shuts off when difficult situations approach it. For instance, what am I to do with the rest of my life? Where am I to live?Karen and I have become very close, by the way. I think she has fallen for me. I have rejected her, knowing that my true will must rest in fierce isolation- the true lonely person who strives to correct things he or she cannot change. I will be labeled as sexist, racist, loser, and mistake. But as words sting like wasps do, so my thoughts will finally bite back at the structures that plague me.In the background I hear children’s voices. I sit at a desk with a tall ceramic lamp. A window to the city streets allows me to procrastinate. The wind sways the branches to and fro. I have such a hard-on at the moment that my pants are bulging. I think my walks with Karen have been productive. I kissed her today, and it made me feel good knowing that there is someone, finally, who understands my present situation. The box, that dreaded box, surrounds. Now they feltlike it was due to the circumstances of the situation. Sarah wasgrowing as a person and their friend should not see it as hampering anyaspect of her life. Lexie spoke up first, "Come on Sarah. You know thatis not true, Cara gave you that beautiful necklace, and any money shehas her half of it on now. Plus, she has told us many times she wasgetting a huge crush on you after spending time while you were in askirt."Audrey backed up what Lexie said, "It is true, any woman who would notgo out with you for your fashion sense is looking for the wrong thingsin a relationship."The support and encouragement of Sarah's friends did reaffirm that shehad a chance with Cara. Still that did not change Sarah believing thatCara was with someone else. That false fact reaffirmed to Sarah sheneeded to treat the date with Dillon as a real one. Sarah had to knowwho she was sexually. Maybe her protector presented her as aheterosexual man so her father did not know she existed.***********It was.
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