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Hands positionedjust so, taking small steps, elbows at the side and swishing my hips wasboth physically and mentally tiring. When I went to finally sit down,she made me get up and do it like she did. Legs together, sweep thehands across the butt, slowly sit while keeping the legs pressed tightthen pull the legs back under the chair. I practiced those moves forhalf an hour before she was satisfied.When I reached for my now warm beer, I noticed the clock and it wasalmost 8 p.m. "Golly, I've got to get home. My mom is going to bepissed," I blurted."Relax Joey. You're spending the night here with me. Your mom doesn'twant to see you and I expect you'll be spending a lot of time here whileI mentor you. So finish your beer," she replied.I wanted to tell her she was wrong and that it was all her mentoringthat got me into the mess I was in but knew she was right. My mom wasreally upset with me because she thought I was a queer. I looked downand saw my bright nails and what I was. You have to be a girl-worshipper like me to understand why that’s all I want and all I do. I never invade a girl’s space, and wouldn’t dream of touching a girl. I’ve never thought about physical contact, never liked the idea, and though – now, thanks to the Internet – I’ve seen photos and videos of people ‘doing it’, I never think “I’d like to do that”. Just the thought of cum coming into contact with a girl, like you see in lots of porn, is anathema to me – me, a wanker, defiling a lovely girl?! Urgh. My preferred ‘porn’ is fully-dressed, sexy-dressed girls, raised skirt, knicker-show, bikinis, and eventually topless (I’ve usually cum in my pants already looking at Her cleavage pics). I like the thought of girls liking to be seen having sex – well, the thought generally of girls letting men see them show - but I always feel uncomfortable seeing sex. Maybe it’s the guilt of knowing I’m not normal, the humiliation of knowing I can’t do that. It’s also maybe the worry of ever being.
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