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" Before looking up and saying, "Oh I beg your pardonsir, I was looking at my till and didn't see you approach and just sawthe garment and your loyalty card, I mean Miss Thomas's card. Besidesthe garment obviously isn't your size you are buying it for Miss Thomasaren't you. She's a size 8 and you would be a 12 if you were buying foryourself which obviously you're not. Oh this is so embarrassing!"I don't know who was more embarrassed, the pretty shop assistant ormyself.She carefully wrapped the purchase in paper and put it in a box and gaveit to me In an Ann Summers bag. The reality that everyone was going tosee me wandering through the shopping centre with an Ann Summers bag inmy hands suddenly hit me.The things we men do for love!I eventually got used to it and Samantha took pictures of me pretendingto blow her a kiss while holding the bag.Over the course of the next week whilst I was at work Samantha ordered anAnn Summers loyalty card in my name Evelyn Tracey but as "Miss". In what seemed to be a well worn approach they used the fact that they caught me giving them a close scrutiny to announce, "We're identical twins, haven't you seen any before?" Well, that was the intro and before I could give the ice in my glass a good rattle they were at my table and making themselves at home. I'm a fucking paragon of politeness, so I won't bore you with the details of our small talk. I come from down there, and you come from over there. I'm Anna and you're Paul in the dark green polo shirt, and that's brother Gary . They were slim, in their thirties, but balding, so had shaven heads which suited them nicely . A tad younger than this housewife milf, which only added to their charm I must say. When their eyes go down to your crotch every other second it doesn't take a world renowned psychic to fathom their thoughts [ during the other second they're assessing your bra size ]. Now we're up to the point when the chit chat turns blue. OK, I'm satisfying a curiosity but I.
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